Friday, November 19, 2004

Last night the beast(I refuse to capitalize him. He won't get the upper hand on me) was at the worst human pain will allow. Luckily, some pharmacist somewhere developed Zopliclone(Immovane). Great stuff, especially when the pain meds are no match for the battle being fought. The very least I was able to regain some strength back to fight him today. Seems the pain meds have stopped working completely this past week. My gp will not go up on the dose because I am "too young and will have problems later." Ummm, Hello?? Doc, in case you haven't noticed I'm having problems now! Who cares if when I'm 50 that they stop working. I do have the faintest of hope that after 25 years scientists will have progressed a tad in their research to minimize the frequency and intensity of clusterheadaches. Even though clusters headaches are probably not on their top of the list. No money with only a few of us sufferering from them.

The beast has been utterly unrelenting this week. I don't know why. All I care about is with any luck they will end soon. Luck seems to be a major player in a chronic cluster sufferers life. No rhyme or reason to many attacks. Just try & enjoy the fort night a year we are pain free. For some 2 weeks of being pain free does not happen. Episoidic sufferers wonder how chronics lives. Chronics wonder how the ones without a break survive. The sad part is some don't.

Dreams.. I love dreaming. I enjoyed one in particular which woke me up. I thought to myself "I have to write this down otherwise the Sandman will take it when he leaves". I did look for a pen & paper at my desk. However, none could be seen. But the pain & drugs caused me to be too tired to advance from out of my cozy quilts. And now, of course, I have no clue what it was about. All I know is that it was mystical. One of those dreams I would give almost anything to remember. To re-live it over & over. During my slumber there were several intense dreams thanks to the combination of clusters & zopiclone. Sometimes they are so intense, so vivid I swear I was remembering a past adventure. From now on I will keep some loose leaf & a pencil beside the bed, just in case.


Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at versilleus@gmail.com with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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