My dr.'s visit.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Wow, what a boring topic:) This morning I drove an hour to see my gp. One of these days I will find another dr. a tad closer. Mind you I have been saying that for a year now. He was over an hour late. No worries though, I came prepared. Definately a good idea to bring a book. As I sat there I realized I forgot my disability appeal forms. F&*k! Now I have to go back sooner than I wanted. I hate going to Mission. Swear the town has a permanent cloud hanging over it. No, wait, it's just fumes from the Fraser River. No offence intended Mission people. What can I say, lived there far too long.

Anyways, when the nurse called me down he was there before a had a chance to sit. That is a bit unusual. Normally I spend more time waiting in the exam room than the waiting area. We didn't discuss my clusters that much. You know, how are you this month? any better? What prescriptions do you need filled? etc.. The typical run-of-the-mill appointment. Then it was time to bring up the topic of Roaccutane and the long term and adverse effects of the drug. He was a bit defiant ia a way only a dr. can be. As I rambled on about brain activity changes during treatment, new studies, and suicide rate(which he agreed concernedly is far too high. Personally 1 is too high), we had a full blown discussion on it. Not a dr./patient conversation but a conversation where he is interested in learning from me. I love that feeling! Bringing knowledge to others is my ultimate high! Now he wants me to bring in some more detailed information for him.. eg. studies, websites, and so on. I should say now I am not doing this to look to a future law suit against the manucturer of the drug or any sort of finacial gain. But more for personal exoneration. Long story. Basically my life changes dramatically, during and after treatment. Now I will go back in a couple of weeks with all the information I can carry:) Now if only he would listen to me about what is happening to me with my cluster attacks...

Speaking of which, the gawd dam mf is killing me. I can not sit still. Normally I can focus on something else and mixed with propranolol I stay relatively calm. Not tonight. I truly want to scream till my throat and lungs bleed. Now I ended up having to be in a position where I had to take my painkiller a few hours early instead of trying the sleeping pills to help me get through the long night ahead. I try not to take them if I don't have to. But during a bad attack the more sleep I can muster, then more able to control the attacks the following day. Beside keeping a good sleep pattern is essiental for cluster sufferers. The major drawback of of this particular pain killer is I am up all night. And no I don't like to mix sleeping pills and pain killers. Heard far too many stories where an individual does just that and never wakes up. I have to admit with a doozy like tonight the thought crossed my mind. Even though I highly doubt that course of action would ever be an option, even when the pain is bad enough to beg for death. Besides I can't go till I piss off everyone;)


Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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