A ClusterHead's Life

I burnt myself yesterday. I've been waiting for awhile for this absolutely gorgeous weather the west coast has been blessed with. I still can't believe people are bitching about it. Too hot. Too cold. Too wet. Yada! yada! Come on people we live in a rain forest! Enjoy it while it lasts! This is the climate I'd love to live in. Too bad not many places in Canada are like this year round. Who am I kidding. There are none.

I am going to enjoy every second of it, burnt or not! Anyways, I couldn't sleep the other night from the heat and NOT from a cluster this time. It has been ages since I couldn't fall asleep from anything else. I completely forgot what it was like to be able to be up & about for a reasons that were my own and not my demons.

The next day I got early to do some cleaning before it got too hot. By 10am I couldn't take being inside anymore. I had to get out. The lacrosse box had been calling me all week. I love that sport. So I grabbed my stick, the sunscreen, towels, water and anything else I could fit into my 'summer bag'. When I arrived the box was free just for me. Felt like a reward for having a pain-free night. I sat down on the players bench and covered myself in tanning oil. I didn't bother to take my shirt off to enjoy the sun. And thats where the problem started. I didn't put any lotion on my back and after I finished toying around I went to area of the park by the people. I didn't want to be a complete loner that day :) . I even re-applied sunscreen but again I forgot my back.

I remember laying looking at a fellow sunbather think that I should walk over and let her know that she has received a lobster style sunburn from falling asleep. Then she woke up. But the joke was on me. I never realized it till the scream in the shower the next day. Oh well, its fading fast.

A couple of days ago I HAD to see my dr. However, because the car was broken down and we don't have long distance on the phone I couldn't arrange an appointment. Mindy's mom was nice enough to fix it for us. She's a very sweet lady. I don't think I have much of an impression with her but that's an entirely different blog.

So first thing in the morning I hopped in my car & headed to Mission to see any dr. at the clinic where my dr. is located. That way which ever dr. sees me at least has my file and doesn't/shouldn't treat me like a drug seeker, least that's the idea. It has yet to work. They'll fill my prescriptions but usually give me the attitude of "You're using what meds for what?". "Chronic Cluster Headache/Chronic Pain." I respond. "Well why haven't you tried this, this, or this?" they argue. "Well sir, I have. As well as ..(I spout off the list of unsuccessful treatments) and inform them that it was my neuro(s) recommendations that this cocktail mixed with other non-drug related treatment is the best course of action for now." Then I get the usual "I don't know why they would do that" or "That doesn't make any sense, I don't think that's right." Funny they have comments to make but don't go into reading my file. Presumptions are very dangerous for dr.'s, for any body for that matter. It's the presumptions that have led to long delays in being treated and being forced awake by the demon with his ice-pick and all I can do is cry thinking about the long night that lie ahead. Once in awhile I catch them by asking how many patients they have with clusters or non-malignment pain that is the intensity of a cluster. Most of the time it's 1-2 or 0. Hard to trust an opinion from someone that has never treated it outside the textbook.

Paul

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
-Socrates

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