Nightmares and Regrets

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Last night I was awake by this horrible dream. I was unable to hold my daughter due to a foggy barrier. Everything look distorted on the other side. NO matter how hard I tried I couldn't reach her. When I touch the fog pain came piercing through my eye causing me to cry out and convulse uncontrollably. Only it wasn't a dream, it was a memory.

I haven't seen my daughter in a very long time for a parent. The attacks and seizures have become an overwhelming barrier for me to see her. Now that is somewhat under 'control', and I use that word lightly, I am going to go back to court for her. Can't live with myself not being able to hold her. She is the best thing ever happen to me and I'm going to fight as hard as I can to get issues resolved. No matter how long it takes, how many days in court and orders that will likely to be broken by her mother(has yet to own up to one. Wish family order were enforceable). I just hope she remembers me and wants to build a new relationship.

Hope, hope, hope. That is what I wish for. At least this time the playing field will be level. We both won't have lawyers, not just me this time. I highly doubt she is going to spend thousands on one. She's a bit on the cheap side. It should be a crime to purposely not work to receive legal aid. Maybe a job search record like they make individuals on Income Assitance would sort out the problem. If you can't find work with a degree in a in demand field then there is something wrong somewhere. Can't you tell that I am frustrated at what happened? Things will be different this time;)


A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it.
-Frank A. Clark



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Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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