Coming Home

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Wow, something mighty strange has occurred with my clusters. They aren't there! Least not in the morning. I have awoken completely and absolutely pain-free! No shadows. No shearing hot ice picks. Zip! Zero! Na-da! Nothing! I could get used to this. This is great! It is the second or third time I have written about this in as many weeks. Finally they are settling from the hellish Fall season.

Mindy comes back from her moms' today. Can't believe she has been away from over a week. Now it's time to go back to sharing the bed:( I haven't had this good asleep in the past week since... well, I don't know when. Hard to sleep soundly when one gets smacked with flailing limbs in the dark. Plus she is an avid sleep talker. Sure find out some interesting things from time to time:) Going to have back to my 'pillow shield' I put between us after she falls asleep lol. :)

Here is an old diary entry from the middle of 2001 sometime before I was diagnosed properly. As you will probably notice I am still calling them migraines instead of cluster with atypical symptoms & petite/grand mal seizures. The aura to the seizure was the sticking point.

Today I was looking at myself in the mirror. I really look like I feel…frail. Stone pale skin encompassing a dying, starving rat-like body. People keep telling me things to do and try for my migraine. They seem to have all the answers but no one wants to hear the question. I HAD to go to the dam emergency room in Mission again. I’m so tired of it. Its so painful to drive down there. If I can drive down the pain is not as bad as it has or could be. Irony…pain treatment is available if you’re not in too much pain to ask for it. I’ve resorted to finding ways of increasing the pain just so I can forget the state I am in. The body is great in this way. If the ordeal is too much, ones memory is blanked to deal with the overall situation. Nice defence mechanism.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
-Albert Einstein



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Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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