Stress & Poison

Sunday, January 02, 2005

All stress out & no where to go! I don't work, have a stable relationship, no real deadlines or tasks. Yet hours go by with my arms & legs tightly crossed to the point of cramping. Not to mention blood flow is non-existant. Why? Could be the lack of things to do. I need to get out more. Meet new people. Try new things. I have this constant drive to do the things I used to be able to do before the clusters started even if tasks ends in a cycle.

Why do I spend so much time thinking about the past? My accomplishments. Sports I no longer can play. Training for whatever excuse would get me out of school:) Wishing I would have realized my intelligence before an injury choose for me. The games I used to play with my daughter. I am still unexcepting that I will not be able to do these again. Least not to my satisfaction. Dam high standards. Being a perfectionists sucks sometimes. Ask the people around me. They feel it too.

Lately I have been doing more & more research on the long-term effects of ethanol glycol poisoning. Now my dr.s don't think there is anything to it but the more I research, the more I really begin to wonder. One dr. I saw for a completely unrelated event ask me what meds I was on. When I mentioned Dilantin & Neurontin he asked how long I have be cursed with seizures. I told him 3 years & a bit. This puzzled him him. He then asked if I have ever had a head injury or brain damage. It doesn't seem like much but it trigger quite a few memories of other dr.s asking the same thing & not believing that there are long-term effects to this particular poison(update: not true. I have found some unsettling degenerative brain disease associated with this toxin). Everyone I have seen have been extremely dismissive of the possibility of any relationship to it. The usual response is "I have never seen it". Good to have an open mind eh? Especially since the seizures are becoming more frequent & intense. The more I read, the more the possibility exists. Now the big test. Proving the hypothesis.

Now my clusters started after the poisoning & the more I think about it so did my seizures. Not the grand mals I don't think. Not that I would remember them:) The petite mals were definately there. They were the original reason the clusters were mistaken for migraines. Between the aura of the seizure & the pain of a cluster it was confused with migraines. Explains why no migraine treatment was working. The only common ground the seizures & clusters have is my hospital visit due to the ethanol glycol. No problems with either before. Then all of a sudden I have 2 life altering afflictions? A tad coincidental. Who know. Maybe this all could be chalked up to a sufferer in desparate need for answers.

Mindy has updated her Journal, FINALLY!:) Take a look.


We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself
-Lloyd Alexander



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Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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