Sudden Jolts
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Day 5. Or is 6? 7 maybe... Not the worst cycle ever recorded. Just annoying none the less. The attacks are very short and... well I'd like to say sweet but no cluster could be described as sweet at this high pain level. That is one thing people forget. The level of pain being experienced & when the attack is over, that is it. No more pain(till the next one).
For example, tonight an attack came during a nap (another pasttime a cluster sufferer should not engage in. Naps have a tendency to trigger a cycle) so hard I jumped out of bed & paced for a few minutes. Pacing is not something I due regularly during a cluster bout. However, in this case I made an exception. After I came out of the bedroom my eye was still teary & completely bloodshot. There didn't seem to be any 'white' left on my eye. My vision was blurry for a few hours afterwards. When an attack affects the my vision that always worries me. I know there is no damage & will fix itself in time but still scary.
During a cycle my sleep schedule is total shot. Some days I sleep far too much. Others none at all. Sometimes it evens itself out. Feels weird sleeping the day away without straining muscles or having a working heartrate. Goes to show the toll the body goes through both mentally & physically.
The sudden jolts from the pain is the hardest of all. Laying in a deep slumber with Mindy snoring off in the background like congested german sheppard(just kidding dear! I'm going to pay for that lol) then smack! A hand rushed to grab my eye before I am completely awake.(And it wasn't Mindy's flying night-time backhand for a change;) Believe me, clusters wake you up in a hurry. The only thing I can do is to apply an ice-pack and wait it out. Sometimes I'll throw on a movie or turn the radio on. Most time though silence is my best friend & my worst enemy. Slows the situation down even more. But listening and commenting can worsen the situation too. So if your loved one asks to be left alone or for silence don't be offended. This one battle which needs to be fought one-on-one even if the last thing we want is to be alone.
Paul
Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
-M. Scott Peck
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For example, tonight an attack came during a nap (another pasttime a cluster sufferer should not engage in. Naps have a tendency to trigger a cycle) so hard I jumped out of bed & paced for a few minutes. Pacing is not something I due regularly during a cluster bout. However, in this case I made an exception. After I came out of the bedroom my eye was still teary & completely bloodshot. There didn't seem to be any 'white' left on my eye. My vision was blurry for a few hours afterwards. When an attack affects the my vision that always worries me. I know there is no damage & will fix itself in time but still scary.
During a cycle my sleep schedule is total shot. Some days I sleep far too much. Others none at all. Sometimes it evens itself out. Feels weird sleeping the day away without straining muscles or having a working heartrate. Goes to show the toll the body goes through both mentally & physically.
The sudden jolts from the pain is the hardest of all. Laying in a deep slumber with Mindy snoring off in the background like congested german sheppard(just kidding dear! I'm going to pay for that lol) then smack! A hand rushed to grab my eye before I am completely awake.(And it wasn't Mindy's flying night-time backhand for a change;) Believe me, clusters wake you up in a hurry. The only thing I can do is to apply an ice-pack and wait it out. Sometimes I'll throw on a movie or turn the radio on. Most time though silence is my best friend & my worst enemy. Slows the situation down even more. But listening and commenting can worsen the situation too. So if your loved one asks to be left alone or for silence don't be offended. This one battle which needs to be fought one-on-one even if the last thing we want is to be alone.
Paul
Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.
-M. Scott Peck
0 comments
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