Achy and sore today

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

A very‚ very‚ very‚old journal entry I came across. So please don't hold me to any of the remarks. This looks to be written before a proper diagnoses of cluster headaches and epilepsy. Strange looking back. I have no recollection of writing this but the chicken scratch is definately mine. Enjoy.

Ooh a little on the stiff and sore side today. I'm not sure what I was doing to produce this, probably nothing as usual( note to self try to become more active when possible). I'm having a hard time with cletching my body when I sleep. That's probably what its from. My knees and elbows and hands all ache and feel weak.
I really have to lay off the tranquilizers. They always make me feel like shit the next day plus I don't want to get out of bed with them. Its too bad zopiclone has stopped working for me. I forgot what a blessing it was to final be put on it. After going through all those drugs just to get a good nights sleep. My little blue pills literal saved me, maybe not soon enough but I'm not completely nuts yet. If the pain were less I don't know what I'd be like. Maybe my life would be on track rather than hanging out in the darkness. I am having an achy day. I do not know if it is from the foreclosure of one of migraines‚ the after effects of tranquilizers or maybe food poisoing. Who knows. I don't really care as long as it goes away sooner rather than later.
Man do I bitch a lot. I swear that is all I do. I'm not the only one that thinks that either(surprise). I'm just not very good at being quiet about needing something or someone. Well that is not entirely true. I just bitch repeatedly about the same things & people then tune it out and don't hear me when things get too much.

I still haven't figured out a name for my pain. Mind you I haven't put a whole hell of a lot of effort into it. I doubt if it is even beneficial. I do wonder if I called them ‘fuck off’ would they really listen to me then?

I have to head off for a bit my mum and her new boyfriend are stopping by before they head back to the states. Bye

Well that went well. My mom changed her mind and decided she isn't going to help me. I shouldn't be surprised. She does this so often. Back and forth. Back and forth. As long as there are people around to say ‘what a caring mom she is’ is public. I know it is partly her illness doing that but I really wish someone would step in and help me… I know can't do it alone. I have never known my mom without bi-polar affecting her. She won't help me with medication or any sort of relief. I'm crying as I head off to sleep. Good Night.




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Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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