Is it Possible?

Sunday, February 13, 2005

To love a child enough to let them go free? Would that be the best for my daughter? I am going to say the next part delicately because of the state of the present situation. Amirah's mother served me with papers for her husband to adopt her. This has brought on a wide spectrum of emotions‚ not of them good for me. The positive about the situation if Amirah will have more stability than I could ever give her with chronic cluster headaches and daily epilepsy. Other than that the whole situation is <Insert colourful metaphor here>. The only dilema I have is how with this will it affect Amirah and is this for her best interest. My goal since the day she was born a healthy 7 pounds 11 ounce is to grow up healthy and flourish the way I know she can. To be as joyful & happy as she has made and will continue to make me. If that means I am not apart of her life then so be it. There won't be a day which goes by I WILL NOT be thinking of her.

Right now I am in the ‘What the hell did I ever do to anyone to deserve this’ phase. Haven't felt this way in a very very long time. Probably more scared than anything else. The uncertainty of everything is killing me. This has definately added to the high amount of stress I am already feeling(obviously). Hard enough to go through this when one is healthy. To compact it on top of a chronic illness is like giving a drowning person an anchor. No matter what happens in the next week her and my lives will be changed forever.

Here she is.
My Daughter

Love reminds you that nothing else matters.
-Amy Bushell



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Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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