Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Wish nights like this came around more. Very rarely am I not bombarded with something causing these clusters to aggravate an already distraught body. But early in the wee morning hours where only new parents & chronic pain sufferers live 'the devil'(a term used to describe cluster headaches) is off bothering someone else. Probably at a night club somewhere pounding back a scotches to make him his grumpy old self. Just in time for a visit of course.

Some days I wonder how much pollution‚ either in forms of sound‚ air‚ or light contribute to the ongoing dilemma. Probably not the cause but sure does not make adjusting to the pain with garbage trucks‚ car alarms‚ and Transit buses going all day. There has to be a quiet town out there for me with high speed internet. That is the only requirement. That‚ and no well water. Been there‚ done that and not going back.

Finally the city has calmed down enough to help me relax‚ knowing I have a bit of time without pain does amazing feats to aid in recovering after a long bout. Also helps to regain the perception to understand that pain is not who I am. Or anyone else with chronic disabilities. Sometimes I feel like pain is all I and others see. Like there is nothing more to me. It has become a major subject in my life and constant topic with most individuals who know me. Seems like‚ at times‚ that it is all there is to me.

I don't mind helping people to understand this rare affliction called cluster headaches. In fact I rather enjoy it. However‚ the ignorance when I hear “its just a headache” or “everyone has some sort of pain to deal”. Fair enough on both counts. Clusters are a headache and most people do experience pain at some point in their lives. I like to ask them if they understand how chronic pain works or if they understand the difference between chronic and acute pain. Of course they say yes. That is normally a good indication they are lying. lol. Hell‚ most people have never heard of a cluster headache before their first attack‚ myself included. I don't think(being presumptuous here) more current sufferers knew about it before hand. Wouldn't have help lol. Hard to ease an attack when you are not aware of the warning signs. And for the life of me I have absolutely no idea where I was going with this. The hamster in the wheel must have fell off☺.

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
-Mohandas Gandhi



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Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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