Something to Note

Friday, May 06, 2005


Since my last post my body and mind have once again been totally devastated by another wave of attacks. The ‘Why Me’ syndrome was quite prevalent. As was the ‘I hate everything’ phase. Sounds like great fun huh ? If I was a car I would be an insurance right off. Nothing more. On Wednesday Mindy asked if I would like to go shopping with her. Despite the weariness from shadows (a precursor to cluster headaches) that I said sure not wanting to disappoint her and at the very least spend some time with each other not in the apartment. We do not seem to have enough time for each other. Mostly it is my fault. Well, indirectly. As the saying goes "Be mad at the ailment not at the individual." To be on the end of someone's, frustrated outlast when there is nothing the sufferer can do has to be one of the most hurtful and lonely experiences imaginable. As a supporter you maybe at loss of what to do to help but try to remember your loved one is scared and frightened as well as being on the ‘front lines’. Most of us know the pain inflicted on us affects those around us. Scorning does nothing to change the overall situation. Do not hesitate to converse about the situation and what is troubling you. When you are both able that is. Feelings in any relationship are best out in the open I think. Why have secrets or tell lies in a healthy, thriving courtship?

We headed to the mall for a bit. Mindy needed to exchange a few items. By this point my left eye socket and surrounding area were starting to get very, very sore. I did not want to say anything because we always seem to have to cut short outings due to my clusters horrible timing. Plus she was in a good mood and I really could not bring myself to spoil it for her. Next was grocery store. At least that is what I gather. I can not for the life of me remember much after the mall. The zombie-like state of cluster headaches from the excessive pain yet all the while barely holding on to consciousness is not something for the public to see. Speaking of not to be seen. It is time for me to head off for the night. Please do not forget to sign my Guest Book!

Paul
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
-Douglas Adams

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Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at versilleus@gmail.com with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*


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