A Sufferer's Guilt

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

For the past few weeks the guilt I feel from the pain and the effects on my lifestyle (or lack of) and most of all the way others are impacted by these clusters has risen dramatically in the past few weeks. The stress of living with someone in chronic pain is showing through on Mindy. I would not be surprised if she left me. People not directly involved with chronic sufferers do not realize the toll it takes on loved ones. After awhile everyone becomes sick of them and leaves. Not so much to leave me but to escape the situation from dragging them down. Honestly I do not blame them. I do hurt inside when the loneliness takes hold as I cry unknowingly under the ice-packs during each attack. Some days I wonder if the ones I care about would be better off if I disappeared. If the clusters and seizures left life would be grand for me. Some how I do not think my wish will happen in the near future. Only time will tell. Here is to uncertainty.


It's odd that you can get so anesthetized by your own pain or your own problem that you don't quite fully share the hell of someone close to you.
-Lady Bird Johnson



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Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at versilleus@gmail.com with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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