In Limbo

Friday, April 21, 2006

My day started around 10pm last night. Not usually a sign of good things to come. One of the reasons for the weird time was because of a seizure in the latter part of the afternoon. No big deal. They happen all the time. I lay down, recover, then come to when my body is ready and my mind cleared. This can lead to some interesting sleep schedules. It isn't the best thing for a cluster sufferer but there is not much I can do to change it at this moment.

This time I awoke in some agony. With my head screaming I went for my ice packs at a speed only cluster sufferer can achieve and headed for the couch. There I would try to outlive my torment as well as not bother anyone else. No matter how many attacks I go through there is a part of me that believes I can actually sit still for the entire episode. Mind you that side of me thinks chocolate is worth the pain it causes. And who can blame it. Chocolate is life.

Now within a few minutes I knew I was in for a long, exceedingly painful bout. When these happen, all too frequently I might add, I head for very, very hot bath. Sometimes this works to lower the intensity other times it is the worst possible thing to do. All depends on when in the cycle it is used. Right before seems to work best, just as my hands and feet become blocks of ice. If I can time it right then I will only have my 2 night time attacks. Otherwise the daytime bouts will run over into my night and so on becoming one very long, sleepless cycle(guess that is why they are called 'cluster headaches'. Can you feel the sarcasm?;) Kind of like right now. However, tonight the bath made the intensity go up a notch. Can we say 'I'm Screwed!'.

As of now my eyelids are lowering & widening over and over, begging to stop the workout and stay closed for a few hours. But of course the pain is not cooperating. Being tired during a cluster attack makes them much harder to deal with. During times like these the 'why me' syndrome comes into play. Maybe even tears and literal head banging. The bright side is that I know they will stop for a time. The dark side knows they will be back.


I reached for sleep and drew it round me like a blanket muffling pain and thought together in the merciful dark.
-Mary Stewart



glad to see that you are updating! I was getting worried about you!

I hope this attack is done and gone soon. It's so nice to hear that something works, even if you can't take it. I think that sometimes, HOPE is more important then drugs. (I think that of course when I'm not going through a 10day pain cycle, lol).

I hope that the new spring weather will bring you some mild relief.

By Blogger Jackie, at 22 April 2006 at 20:30  

I wish you PF time.

By Blogger sandie99, at 23 April 2006 at 11:39  

Thanks so much for the words of encouragement Jackie and Sandi! I wish you pain-free days as well. May those days turn into weeks then into months untill they final cease, for all of us.
I have to agree with you Jackie about Hope and the torturous 10/day cycles. It can be hard to believe that the cycle will ever end at time like those:(

By Blogger Versilleus, at 24 April 2006 at 08:08  

Post a Comment

Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

[View Guestbook] [Sign Guestbook]

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?