Wednesday, April 26, 2006
When my personal hell began, there would be one attack followed by another and another and so on. Each cluster headache was easily 9 or 10 on the Kip Scale. The last cluster would trigger the next one. No breaks. No relief. And of course no help. Trying to have people around me, including my GP at that time(he is no longer my doctor), the level of pain I was in. But if there is no wound then I can't be in pain, right? What a stupid theory that was/is! There were times when I was tempting to take a hammer to my head. At least that way there would be something that could be seen, especially by me. That was hard. Being in agony and having nothing to show for it other than a bloodshot, droopy, watery eye, runny nose and a change in personality(from the pain).
This went on for months. I was allotted very little sleep. Any sleep I did have was shallow and dreamless. After 6(?) months of this my body and mind basically collapsed. Two weeks, approximately, was spent in hospital trying to help me have proper nights rest. Slowly a temporarily solution was found and finally after 6 long months I dreamt. And guess what? Afterwards my doctor realized a good night sleep was essential to dealing with chronic pain. Who would of thought?(put your hands down. He can't see you:)
However, once again I am having cluster headache after cluster headache accompanied higher than the usual amount of pain. The Kip Scale should be adjusted to go up to 11 or 12. It has been awhile since the level of pain was more than I could deal with. Normally I receive about 4 clusters a day of various intensity. Luckily there are spaced out enough so dealing with each attack is far easier than in the past. Now this one cycle is grudging up all the old memories and not good ones at that. Are there 'good cluster memories?
But the pain has lowered itself down to about a 4-5 so I am going to rest my eyes and with any luck sleep for a couple of hours before it rises back up to the 9 & 10 level. Wish me luck.
Oh Paul, that really sucks. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. Sometimes I think that the pain is like a monster, and every once in a while it just needs to strech it's legs. Hopefully it will only be out for a quick run before it goes back into hiding!
Thanks so much for your words of comfort Jackie! It's nice to know someone understands what it can be like.
May your days & nights be restful and pain free
*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*