Trapped in a Body Without the Key

Friday, April 20, 2007

Does anyone else feel this way too? Cluster headaches, as well as many other forms of lengthy illnesses have an uncanny way to cause a sufferer to feel imprisoned. At times, negative emotions swirl around my mind like a desert does to sand caught in a wind. Stinging sharply when thrown against my unprotected flesh.

Emotions like guilt from feeling like I'm a burden worth my weight in cast iron dragging others around me down. That one is probably the worst of the lot. The sense of loss from all areas of life is a far cry away in comparison.

Now the largest cause to complete the feel of isolation is the affect the medications I currently take have on me. If any one of them did not reduce pain or increase the quality of life it would be discontinued as quickly as realistically possible. Each Rx I am on has been temporarily discontinued at some point throughout the past 5 years or so and all the with a similar result. The pain or seizures increased. To have to depend on anyone or anything has never been easy for me. I doubt I'm alone in that category.

Anyhow, there is one more ailment to the through a wrench into the cogs of an already diminished machine and that is to be checked out for Crohn's Disease (again). I go for a double biopsy in a week's time. My doctors seem more concern about the problem than I do. To be honest I could care less. For me it is much like clusters in the regard that both are painful, life altering and have no cure. Bugger all, eh? ;)

Here are a couple a medical jokes to lighten the mood a bit.

The Perfect Stress Medication

This joke seems quite fitting don't you think ? :)
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true", the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "Yes, I'm afraid so." The doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"


The trouble with always trying to preserve the health of the body is that it is so difficult to do without destroying the health of the mind.
-G.K. Chesterton



you are a great writter. It is good to here that you can keep an opened mind, through this stressful time in your life.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 24 April 2007 at 23:03  

Thank you for taking the time to read and add such positive feed back. I don't know about a great writer but the compliment is very much appreciative.

Don't hesitate to leave you name or email me privately. I try to respond as best that I can.



By Blogger Versilleus, at 25 April 2007 at 00:35  

That's good! Sometimes, I actually see the key, dangling high in front of me; and I try desperately to reach for it, but it moves faster, and faster. Higher and higher. I run and jump for it, and I tire and fall. Now, from the exertion, my head starts to throb. I lose sight of the key. Trapped again. Very well said, Paul. Oh, yes. I have SO felt this way, many times.

By Blogger deborah, at 25 April 2007 at 04:50  

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Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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