Goodbye Summer, Hello cluster season!
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Paul, you wrote in your last post:
One day will there will be nothing left of who I once was, who am I and what will be left of me
I know exactly what you feel like after suffering from lots of episodic cluster headaches from the age of 16 to roughly 50 years old. I lost all my jobs and all my romantic relationships, never got the education I wanted, and was economically we'll say "challenged" the whole time. My bouts were often many months long, and usually at least a couple of months long, usually around 6 or ten screamers a day.
Ah well, I did have a fair bit of time to read and write. Unemployed people do have that.
I've gone about 8 years now with occasional migraines still but absolutely no clusters.
I wouldn't dream to decide such things for someone else but I can tell you it was worth the wait, I have a fun job, a decent home and a good life and I'm not even afraid any more. And I like who I am--lots--even though I'm not exactly what I expected or hoped to be.
I'm a long way from stupid, my intellect is everything it ever was--and I can still construct a coherent sentence, easily. And I learned a lot even *from* the headaches; they taught me things about me, about other people and about what life can be that maybe other folks don't get to learn.
It was a long long wait, but I'm fine now. I'm almost 60 now and there are days I feel like a teenager in the world with so much still possible for me.
I hope the same for you.
My post is just to let you know what's possible still.
*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*