Frustrated... FRUstrated..... FRUSTRATED!!!

Saturday, September 12, 2009


I am sick to death of the toll that chronic cluster headaches have done to me. Physically, mental and how those around me think of who I am. Some days I think the world be better off without me or at the very least pack up and move to some remote local where I can no longer be a bother or as someone described me last night "a nuisance". Yet another instance of not having the understanding to differentiate between an individual's actions and just how chronic cluster headaches tend to slowly strip away one's control is much faster than I would like to admit.

The other night there was a celebration of my sister's birthday. Normally I do not attend events that have more than one trigger. Ex. schedule change, loud music and so forth. As time went on the pain became so vicious that I could not stop my eyes from pouring out tears. Eventually the pain subsided and was left with the euphoric affect from which can only come from severe pain. The body's pain suppressants work well just not well enough. But by that point I had overheard identifiable individuals (voices tend become that much louder when they drink) saying I was a nuisance and I should have known better. Ironic considering that I tend to get grief if I avoid outings that will cause others to be affected by my pain. Right now I just want to scream till my lungs burst and disappear to part unknown.

Paul

I reached for sleep and drew it round me like a blanket muffling pain and thought together in the merciful dark.
- Mary Stewart

5 comments

5 Comments:

good one, "avoid outings that will cause others to be affected by my pain" - how dare we affect others with our pain, thoughtless dependants we are.

By Blogger deborah, at 25 October 2009 at 17:41  

I could not stop my eyes from pouring out tears. Eventually the pain subsided and was left with the euphoric affect from which can only come from severe pain.

By Anonymous Mary B., at 23 December 2009 at 09:15  

Nice post, thanks for sharing this wonderful and usefull information with us.

Benefits of Green Tea

By Blogger Herina, at 23 December 2009 at 20:02  

Man do I know how you feel. First off those people need to get a clue. I have chronic clusters and migraines. It has a tendency to get intractable as well.

I've been searching for someone that gets headaches as bad as I do. How long have you been chronic? What meds and/or treatment have you tried?

By Blogger HA Queen, at 28 December 2009 at 12:58  

HA Queen: I've been chronic for just over 8 years and like you, I get migraines as well. Migraines feel like a welcome relief in comparison to cluster. As for meds I have tried everything on the market, in Canada at least.
Feel free to email me (the address is at the bottom of the page) if you would like to talk more.

Paul

By Blogger Versilleus, at 29 December 2009 at 13:13  

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Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at versilleus@gmail.com with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*


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