The same, yet changed

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Well despite all hours of packing, planning, restless nights worrying about whether or not we could find a place we could both good agree on within our price range. We decided not to move. Not so much compromised as I caved in to staying because Mindy likes the area. Even though the apartment, excessive noise, drugs and so forth cause me real pain and for the most I am not proud our place. For me that is important. The place I call home doesn't need to be luxurious but more of an extension of my personality. Where my stress will not be raise higher when I enter but rather allow me to know that there is a place I can unwind, study, tidy or whatever the case maybe. Lowering stress will aid in the battle with my chronic cluster headaches. Never thought we would be here for over 2 years. There have been some many times that we have been 'going to move' yet I backed off for various reasons. I admit the prospect of moving is not in my 'Top 10' list but the ends justifies the means.

I have no idea where I was going with that. Not even cluster related. Unless you count all this stress triggering my clusters. My neurologist started me on Topamax, for the second time, a couple of days ago and my thoughts have become a tad disjointed. Last time the side-effect were too much for me. Topamax was one of the first medications I was prescribed before I there was any diagnoses. Maybe this time with my current drug cocktail the clusters and seizures will decrease even further. At least decrease them enough to regain a little bit of independence back and hopefully some dignity will come back as well. That is the hope anyways. Worst case scenario is I will break out in blemishes and become excessively tired again. Sounds like fun, doesn't it


Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea.

- Robert A. Heinlein


Happy Birthday Yvonne!

Saturday, September 10, 2005

A Happy Birthday goes out to my younger sister, Yvonne. She is much further along in life that myself. She has 2 kids and owns a home despite being 5 years to my junior. We are all proud of her.

Mindy and I went out there to visit. I was hoping to spend the day out there and give her a bit of a rest by occupying her kids for her birthday. Silly me. Why did I think I could do that. I was only able to last a little over 2 hours before my headaches and seizures started acting up. Lucky Mindy was there to drive back because I would not have been able too. But one can only due ones best.

I have not had much interest in updating my blog as of late. Packing and looking of a new apartment is where my energy is going. Hopefully I will be updating on a regular basis once life settles down a bit.

Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.
-Author Unknown



Saturday, September 03, 2005

Well we finally did it. After two years Mindy and I gave our 1 month notice. Now the fun part, looking for another place. Moving is one of the biggest stresses. Both of us are dreading it but we could not take much more of this place. Would not have been so bad if the maintenance actually maintained the building. But that is all behind us now.

I just hope we can find a place are both happy with. Some place close to Mindy' work. We don' enough together as it is. Between her work schedule and my clusters we can go days without spending more than a few minutes together. Hopefully this move will change all that. One big hope I have is that I will be happier at our new place. It is no secret I am sick of dealing with our neighbours smoking pots at all ours of the day, barbecues with 5 foot high flames. walking down the hall and smelling everything in everyones apartments. From their garbage to what is one the stove. That has been extremely tough on me because smells tend to make my clusters worse or even trigger them during my never ending bouts. If this move decreases the attacks by one of 2 a week the move for move will have been more than worth it. Will any luck I will get more relief than that. A change of environment could be a great help when improving a chronic pain situation I think. That is all for tonight. I need to do a bit of tidying and pack a box or 2 before bed.


If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
-Mary Engelbreit

Medical terminology can cause confusion at the best of times. If there is a word you do not understand all you have to do is double-click on it and the definition will appear! Don't forget to drop me a line by email at with your comments, questions‚ recommended resources‚ concerns‚ & especially your experiences with clusters. Or come find me on my Facebook Profile to add me as a Friend. Whether you are a supporter‚ care-giver or sufferer. I would love to hear from you!

*Please do not use this information for self diagnoses. Writing about my experiences with chronic cluster headaches & epilepsy is a good outlet for me. Consult your Dr. with any kind of headache or chronic pain you may have. The 3rd party links on my site I have found to be a good resource to me over the past few years & dearly hope they will benefit you as well.*

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